there's no world outside;

Warning

just beautiful @11:52 PM

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Sometimes i don't know what's going on in the minds of people. How they could carelessly hurt others who gives a damn about them. Is having the last say that important? Or saving your own face? That's a pitiful excuse if i may say so. We are s0 not at your disposal.

By golly, the way you conveniently toss her feelings aside turns my stomach. I can't help but scoff at your superficiality. Of all the plausible scenarios, this one here takes the lead. Please treat my better half with the respect she deserves. I'm not her so i can completely, without any remorse, whip you with my words. Figuratively.

Goodies anyone?

just beautiful @6:12 PM

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Today:

Origins.
My new job.
Training was at 11am.
Took a cab there.
Coz i was lazy.
Theory first half.
And practice second half.
I'm just about convinced it works.
Plus i acquired a great deal of goodies.
I love it. =p

My ill-gotten gains:

1) a 150ml checks and balances frothy face wash worth $33
2) a 15ml peace of mind on-the-spot relief worth $22
3) a free makeover cum facial
4) 16 small samples of various origins products
5) 2 origins led stirrer

The best things in life are free.

Ps: it's given to us to try it out. how cool is that? *smirks*

Bye, darling

just beautiful @9:57 AM

Luffy's going home today. I'm gonna miss him and his silly antics. A lot. Sometimes i believe he's the reincarnation of a pig. Coz he loves to eat. And he goes where the food goes. Lead by the nose, so to speak. ~laughs~

I call him my own personal smartie pants. And i think he's the cutest one ever. Lol.

Everybody loves him even my mokmok who profess that she doesn't have an affinity for four-legged animals. Now we all know.

I don't even get to see him off. Coz i'm going to work soon.=(

I'll miss you, luffy darling.

You bet!

just beautiful @6:11 PM

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The driving instructor casually mentioned that i would be a reckless female driver in future. Ha.. I like the sound of that. *grins*

Spent but elated!

just beautiful @11:54 PM

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Totally whacked man. Had a really long day at school. It started from the OE lecture held in the morning, in which i was unabashedly late ~oops~, to the MOR project discussion and later on to the OE project discussion. It went on for hours. Lucky me, coz i managed to squeeze in two lunches! Fish and chips and my favourite tom yam ban mian! *grinz*

I finally got to leave school at 9pm. All in all, i'm glad we manage to get some things done. But i could almost be pronounced brain dead. =(

Out of the blue, this unknown person messaged me and said a lot of s**t about missing me and wanting me to take care. I probed and try to wiggle out the identity but to no avail. I was freaking pissed. I hate cowards. Go f**k urself ba.

The highlight of the day was when i went to fetch my darling luffy. Finally i can have him all to myself! *claps*

You made my day.

I love you luffy darling!

Smashing success?

just beautiful @11:11 PM

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Met up with elvin at walas. It had been eons since i last saw him. Still the same old elvin the elvin. ~laughs~ The thing was it totally slipped my mind to ask him whether anyone else i know was going too. So what i saw was a handful of unfamiliar faces. It was darn weird at first. I mean other than the fact i don't know anyone, i was also the only girl there. As luck would have it, they were all pretty friendly to me. Phew. This elvin ah, asked me to eat dinner but never wait for me. Good thing that after drinking, we went nydc to grab dessert. If not i would have eaten him alive. Had nydc's cookie monster and also a little (ok, ok.. half i admit) of elvin's jamaican banana. It was smashing!

Didn't get to meet my personal bag packer today as he was stuck in camp for some whatnot reason. At least he was apologetic about it. I forgive you then. Lol.

Floored man

just beautiful @1:00 AM

He bought me a row of ferrero rochers.
My personal bag packer i mean.
Especially for me.
Like a daily dosage.
Nothing fancy but i was balled over.
It was a simple gesture that almost nobody would have thought of.
In case you don't know, i'm like a chocolate addict. I need my daily fix everyday. If not, i feel terrible. =(
So you see how much it meant to me.
Thank you, prince charming.

And a special thanks to char for being there for me when i need you. *hugs*

A pain in the neck

just beautiful @10:47 PM

Monday, July 25, 2005

What a nitwit i am. Brought everything to school except my specs. Like that how to see uh. I could only rely on my good pair of ears (which actually isn't very good at all) to absorb everything in. =(

Was going to head straight to my driving practical after class. Without my specs. Luckily i found out that little fact before i went ahead and obliterate somebody. Made a detour back home to grab the specs instead.

Oh and i like my driving instructor. He was a riot. ~Ha~ He even said that my turning not bad! Maybe that's why i like him? Lol.

Have i mentioned that its my first driving practical? *smiles*

Right before i left to meet char, i saw alvin! We were in the same class in jc. He still look as silly as ever. Was quite taken aback to see him though. But boy does he tickle my funny bone!

Wanted to head to town to do a bit of shopping with char, but it was raining quite heavily. So we came to my place in the end. It was the first time she came to my place after the upgrading have been done. She was like amazed. =)

The day came to a halting stop when i heard some news i know i didn't want to know or had any business knowing. But it was handed to me on a platter. I resent the fact that i had no choice at all.

Really, i don't give a damn what you guys are doing. What makes you think i do? Just grow up la.

In dangerous waters

just beautiful @11:08 PM

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I wonder, truly wonder if i can have it all again. I'm terribly afraid that history would repeat itself again. Would it? I don't know if i can take it. I may be alot of things but i am definately not unbreakable. To let someone into your heart would be letting that someone have that power to destroy you. To be at the mercy of someone. The thought of it makes me shudder in fear. No, that will not do at all. Not if i can help it.

I admit i'm lost. Fluttering. Whatever. To run straight into your arms or in the opposite direction as far as i can.

You oaf!

just beautiful @9:50 PM

Man oh man oh man. To me the whole thing just plain sucks. The lot that have no idea what we are thinking about. What do i have to do to make you understand? Haiz.. More than anything, i'm mad at myself. I got myself into this fix unwittingly. F**k.

You make me laugh so easily. Yet you make me hot under the collar as easily too. And absurdly i might add. WTH.

Blockhead!!

just beautiful @12:26 AM

Saturday, July 23, 2005

My blood's boiling again! I asked you to sleep early and you really replied me ok and gd nitez?! Grr! Swee lo.. Second time in two weeks we don't meet up and this is what i get? Thanks a bundle.. You are so bloody mean! Stoopid! :(

Ludicrously odd..

just beautiful @5:45 PM

Thursday, July 21, 2005

I just woke up. Really. It was the soundest sleep i had in ages. Roughly 12 hours. These couple of weeks had been a blur. Deprived of sleep, i was the most horrible being ever. The feeling of waking up bcoz i want to and not bcoz i need to, is just an amazing feeling. Too bad i gotta rush for business finance class later. Boo ho0..

Cas, Eve and mE went Black last night. Wasn't really in the mood to go but oh well, i missed my darlings! The strange thing was they requested me to bring along my personal bag packer. Which i did.

The night did not start out all that well. I wasn't myself and i know it. But i just can't seem to come out of that self. Towards the end, it got better somewhat. Made sure my darlings got home safely and went home as well. The upside of the night was that my personal bag packer called after i took my shower to talk to me while i was waiting for my hair to dry. How sweet is that? It was 5 in the morning and god knows how long i take to shower! OOps..=)

Two angry people!

just beautiful @5:55 PM

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I'm in such an abominable mood.. Every little thing seems to set me off. It appears that only my better half can quiet me down and put me to rights. Thank you, better half!
We (better half and me) have come to a conclusion that we do not like our plans to be abruptly changed. It causes unimaginable anguish for us to rearrange it again ok!
Anyways, we can be two very angry people if we want to be. So bear that in mind. No kidding.

Ooh wEe!

just beautiful @4:36 AM

Timecheck: 0436am

hmm..
deliciously and deliriously happy
laughed so much that tears nearly came to my eyes
but i still maintain that my day is lovely
thanks to my personal bag packer

Back to square one..

just beautiful @8:05 PM

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

It hit me then.
Things will never go back to the way it was again.
I'm sorry things had turned out like this.
I'm not sure if i ever did say thank you for the gift.
Thank you, Mr Ben..

Sugar rush

just beautiful @11:06 PM

Saturday, July 16, 2005

I think 'm smitten with my personal bag packer.
I was the recipient of a very sweet surprise.
The gesture touched me.
Especially today.
Coz 'm bloody sick.

'cuse me

just beautiful @9:25 PM

A hard day's of work.
9.3o to 9pm.
Who would imagine i could do it?
I did.

Tumultous friday

just beautiful @4:57 AM

A flurry of activities. That's what it was today.
1) rushed to school for project meeting
2) attended a later lecture coz i absolutely could not wake up for the earlier one
3) went Eventgurus to collect the uniform for the job i took up
4) head to bugis village to meet Eve as well as for a little bit of shopping
5) proceeded to clementi to meet Jem for dinner
6) went home to shower before meeting my personal bag packer for movie and supper

There's a first time for everything.
1) got quite upset with jem for what he said and i walked off
2) skipped lecture halfway through for the first time this sem
3) spilled strawberry juice in my mickey mouse bag

My spoils.
1) a pair of jap style greyish brown bermudas
2) a teal half cardigan
3) a yellow satin dress for work
4) a plate of chicken chop
5) watched sin city

From the get-go

just beautiful @2:13 AM

Monday, July 11, 2005

It was a pretty neat day despite the rain.
To say the least =)
Had a terrific game of time crisis.
Watched fanastic 4.
And had dinner with someone i sincerely wanna get to know better at nydc.
Wonder why.
Went for a walk at East Coast.
A very interesting walk.
Head to Bedok for supper after that.
I enjoyed myself. A lot.
As simple as that.

Hmm..

just beautiful @1:06 PM

Friday, July 08, 2005

Your dating personality profile:

Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously.

Your date match profile:

Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart.
Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Liberal
2. Stylish
3. Funny
4. Big-Hearted
5. Athletic
6. Adventurous
7. Shy
8. Wealthy/Ambitious
9. Religious
10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Funny
2. Stylish
3. Practical
4. Conservative
5. Adventurous
6. Athletic
7. Big-Hearted
8. Religious
9. Traditional
10. Outgoing

Take the Online Dating'>http://www.datingdiversions.com/">Dating Profile Quiz at Dating'>http://www.datingdiversions.com/">Dating Diversions

Tension rising high..

just beautiful @10:37 PM

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The tension at home had been unbearable lately. Maybe its just me. Maybe its the pounding and hammering all day long. What started as an innocent question quickly ensued in a full-fledged fight with the person i respect most. My daddy.
Voices were raised. Words were being said. I cried. I almost ran out of the house. My mokmok, as always, the conciliator in the family, wiped away my tears and tried her best to comfort me.
Now, the silence between my dad and me seems deafening and the tautness that hung in the air seems palpable enough to touch.
I miss you daddy.

Drained..

just beautiful @10:04 PM

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

I don't know where to start. I'm barely keeping it in. My emotions, my mind, running senselessly amok. I tried to put on a brave front. For everyone. I just can't anymore. So tired. Really. I need some time alone. To think. All by myself. My quota of human contact have been reached. No room for anyone anymore. Even the ones i hold dear to me. I have a sinking feeling that 'm helplessly alone and my world is crashing down on me, slowly and painfully.

How is it that one can go from a state of extreme exhilaration to another state of utter misery in an instant? I don't get it. 'm sick and tired of being strong. For myself and for everybody else. Just leave me alone.

Idiotproof..

just beautiful @6:49 PM

Monday, July 04, 2005

school went without a hitch today
arrived at the conclusion that what goes around definately comes around and bite you in the ass
saw for myself even
bought 2 tops
hence 'utilizing' all my allowance for this week
pay still hasnt come in yet
sure feels like eons ago
feeling a tad broody
kinda out of my element
went home and posed for the cam
with my new specs
tada!
ha..

Food for thought?

just beautiful @1:13 AM

I think 'm blissfully happy. Been filling up my breadbasket with goodies and treats. Having a feast, literally. Even if i get a little too heavy for my liking, i wouldn't mind a bit too much. Ha! Lemme recapitulate.. There's cafe cartel, gelare, nydc, sushi tei, pastamania, thai express, etc. For the past two weeks. Wow! I feel like such a glutton.. Or should i say gourmand? But it's all in good cause! All in the name of food...~laughs~

Ahem!

just beautiful @5:28 PM

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Try this.. It's amazingly spot-on!
http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1120377171tkn

Beat..

just beautiful @4:48 AM

Dreamcars exhibition. Two movies in a row. The time now is 0448am. I can hardly open my eyes. I rest my case.

In a nutshell

just beautiful @1:56 AM

Saturday, July 02, 2005

I never understood it before. Life. How it can be simple and complicated at the same time. I find myself hoping to go back to how it was but i know the perils of such entanglements. There are times i think i would never recover but on a good day, i remain hopeful at best. It came with the force of a tidal wave and left me bared and desolate. Its unsettling. I don't deny that memories of him engulf me and left me feeling all hollow inside. But i'm learning to take it in stride. Sometimes even the most firmest, most unwavering of people fall and it is only further testament to my character how i'm able to get back on my feet. That's life in a nutshell for me.

Odious!

just beautiful @12:56 AM

Friday, July 01, 2005

Things always go wrong somehow. No matter how perfectly seamless it seems to feel. I detest feeling helpless and knowing that they are out of my control. Guess i have to deal with it in my own way. Or better yet, get a grip! Bother!